Franklin: Dishevelment

Dishevel: to cause untidiness and disarray. Example: “The wind disheveled the papers on the desk.”

My brother and I are proud of our highly refined skills in the Art and Science of Catly Dishevelment. In assessing the above definition, it’s important to note that the wind, the sea, nay in fact all the forces of nature combined have nothing on us!

Have you recently remodeled? Be sure to see Special Consultant Winston at Interior Designs by Franklin for a feng shui review.

Visiting the nursery? We’ll be happy to “quality test” your plants.

Positioning a throw rug? Count on our teamwork to hook claws into corners, roll over a time or two, pounce thrice and then toss it into the air. It is a throw rug, after all.

Those who collect plushies—and let me tell you this home seems full of them—should know that either of us will be happy to pull down a selected beast, wrestle it into submission, and personalize it with random kitty spit and mangled body parts.

 If you're decorating your indoor tree, do remember that no matter how cunningly you place those fragile ornaments on the topmost branches, we can reposition them at will. Some ornaments have been discovered lying on the floor, occasionally even unbroken, after an “unexplained fall” of more than 10 feet. As a special gift, we'll happily inspect your packages and randomly ingest yarn and ribbon in an effort to add a hint of seasonal colour to the litter box.

Your paltry “Keep things away from the kitties” measures are doomed if you think placement on the eight-foot curio is the way to go. We’ll simply sally to the edge of a chair, judge the trajectory, align our sensors, use the hanging plate on the wall as a way-point, and land soundlessly on top of the cabinet, after which we can enjoy a leisurely afternoon of tossing the Christmas tree, angel, plush bear, and wreath over the edge. Come on, you didn’t really think that angel committed suicide by hanging herself off the side of the cabinet, did you?

Oh, and if you believe your paper products are safe, think again.

Tonight Mom learned that her $200 stereo cables were broken. We have no idea how that happened, but we were relieved to hear Mom say “It wasn’t the cats – the connectors broke off, and they couldn’t have done something like that!” Paw on heart, it’s true: we’re innocent of breaking the connectors. 

The happy news is that Mom learned the cables have a lifetime warranty. The not-so-happy news is that she’s now faced with a challenge of explaining the hundreds of tiny chew marks that surround said connectors…

Winston: Snow Time Like the Present!

What week is better for a kitty than this week the human’s call “Thanksgiving?” Frank and I are very grateful for all that fills our lives: a warm home that hosts a comfy kitty tree with 2 (!) plush-lined baskets (customized as a pair of buckets rather than the standard one, to prevent feline friction), a plethora of kitty toys, delicious victuals, an electronic cat tray, our own special “end of the bed” blanket (although quite frankly one wonders if Mom needed to select a Tinkerbell print!), abundant attention by our loving humans, a new human in the family (future pets and kisses are surely in the offing from this one!), a plump turkey roasting in the oven with morsels sure to be shared, and so much more.

And this year, there is something extra to fill our hearts, for this year there is SNOW!

Mom opened the deck door to take a photograph of an icicle suspended perilously from the edge of the roof. I wasted not a nanosecond taking advantage of the open door, slipping outside to experience this frozen water for myself.

I leap the white stuff, sure to leave no trace of my presence.
I am invisible. I am Stealth Kitty!

This looks intriguing!

Shall I? Shall I not?

Dear heavens! I had no idea this stuff was so C-O-L-D!




And now -- how do I make my escape?




I look to the left.




I look to the right.




I think this may be a bad choice in pathing.




There is nothing to do but bravely set course and move forward.
I feel my Stealth Mode may be slipping away.




Drat! Evidence!




What am I doing, Mom?
Oh, just a bit of personal grooming.

{The white flakes between my pawpads are a mere figment of your imagination.}

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!