Winston: I Invent a New Card Game

Over this human holiday called New Year’s, I came up with what I think is a brilliant new concept: It’s a card game where you wager coins, paper money, bits of plastic, or even kitty kibbles (!) and win rewards based on the cards in your paw. I call it “poker.”

This new game takes skill, cunning, and a very cool demeanor. You must be able to look someone in the eye and not reveal glee at a good paw, or despair at a lousy draw of cards. In fact, you benefit greatly if you are able to make a paw full of cat litter look like a bowl of turkey breast, based on your facial expression.

Never avoid meeting you opponent's eyes.

My humans invited friends and family over to our house to play the new game; they all seemed to enjoy it immensely. In fact, gaming ensued into the wee hours. One of the newly-trained players snapped a few photographs. I suspect he thought by doing that he would capture my exceptional ability to remain impassive as I wagered; perhaps he thought he'd divine the code to my game-winning demeanor.

No matter.

I call your stack of worthless plastic
and raise you two fishy treats.

I drew to an inside straight flush and cleared the table.

And in the spirit of the holiday, Franklin and I hope your celebration was joyful and wish you much happiness in the New Year.