Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Franklin: Canines of Mass Destruction

My brother and I were taking our usual early evening nap on the kitty tree today when we heard Mom say, “That’s odd, I hear voices just outside, like on the other side of the wall of the house.” She rose to head upstairs to see who might be lurking near our fence when she – and we – glanced out the big door to see a large, four-legged animal of considerable size in our backyard.

Win and I were immediately on Stage Three Alert. We leapt from the Kitty Tree of Repose ™ and beat paws to the door. Win was on top of it, I must say, puffing his fur to easily twice its normal proportions, whipping the tail back and forth, baring a fang or two – the very model of exceptional domestic protection! I hung back a few feet, the better to admire Big Brother’s performance… or to see if the large, four-legged beast should breach our defenses. I mean, someone has to be ready to call for reinforcements, yes?

Mom said the beast was a “dawg.” And she firmly stated that said “dawg” had no business in our yard. Just then, the human from a nearby domicile – with nary a by-your-leave! – opened the gate, walked into the backyard, and started making lunges in the direction of said dawg. Mom, at the same time, cracked the door open to ask if he needed assistance, while simultaneously, Win and I were approaching the door, bandy-legged and buffed of fur.

All in a split second, Dawg leapt towards the open door, cats adopted pounce position, Mom prepared her Mighty Kick of Protection (that’s a Monk Elite, of course) , and the human from the nearby domicile grabbed for the hardware around the dawg’s neck. And in that split second, a Fracas for the Ages was averted.

  • Dawg was subdued and dragged off in humiliation.
  • Dawg owner called a pledge over his shoulder to install something called “chicken wire” to contain said beast.
  • Mom made courteous noises about how she hoped the problem would sort itself out, and how there was (this time!) no harm done.
  • And Win and I settled back onto the kitty tree to ponder whether said “chicken wire” was some sort of snarky statement about the intruding creature's Inner Dawg.
Because frankly, compared to two sets of pointy teeth, 36 carefully sharpened claws, and Mom’s Kick of Doom, that beast didn’t stand a bloomin' chance.


At April 16, 2009 at 11:10 AM , Blogger Linda said...

Oh dear, The Little Buddy Buffet has been outed! The clientele might be a bit leery of a place where Dawg might barge in at any moment.

Here's hoping the patio stays peaceful. And if not, that Franklin will be on hand to record the aftermath of the mighty Kick.

At April 16, 2009 at 11:46 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ha very nice Gaile :). Seems you lead quite they adventure! All in good fun though?

At April 17, 2009 at 12:29 PM , Blogger Gaile Gray said...

Well, Linda, I definitely hope this intrusion was a one-time deal. After all, Little Buddy is a delicate eater, but if the neighbor dog decides to visit on a regular basis, the food will be gone in a couple of chomps. (Not to mention his presence will take a hit on the quiet restaurant's ambiance, you're right!)

It was an exciting night, Brad, and Win and Frankie do consider it a great adventure, it's true. I hear them honing their "war stories" to tell each other when they're old. They may give the secrets of their mighty "Fur of Fierceness" skill in their memoirs. ;)

At April 28, 2009 at 5:07 AM , Anonymous Carolina said...

Ha ha ha ha ha */catchbreath. That "Dawg" would have been more humiliated it seems by the two of em going for a firm cuddle than being dragged of by the neighbouring two leg :).

At April 30, 2009 at 2:06 PM , Blogger Gaile Gray said...

I like the visual that brings to mind. "Oh noes, those felines are killing me with kindness!" ;)


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