Saturday, June 6, 2009

Winston: Career Planning

Lately I’ve been thinking: A cat needs a profession. Sure it’s all fine and well to be the official bed warmer, the greeter kitty who welcomes folks to the home, or even the official desk rearranger, but it’s probably time for us to settle on a career.

So I’ve been experimenting with various open positions:

Mouser Kitty: I am proud to say that since my brother and I joined this household, not a single mouse, rat, or other vermin has taken up residence within its walls. No matter that we’ve never had one even think about coming near the place, I’m confident our reputation for sharp teeth and raking claws has kept them at bay.

Winston: Early Hunting Practice

Janitor Kitty: When there’s vacuuming to be done, I cruise the area and point out any pine needles or bits of dust that need attention by flopping upon them.

Laundry Kitty: I am quite sure the clean laundry is all the better for my sleeping on the folded clothes. Kitty fur is a fashion statement, no?

Plumber Kitty: I pointed out a small toilet leak the other day, thereby saving the house from flooding. Strangely, my humans showed slight displeasure in this service, perhaps because I pointed out the problem by drinking the water pooled at its base? (Note to self: That blue bowl stuff is nasty!)

Carpenter Kitty: Open the tool drawer, I’m there! Hammering a nail, putting in a ceiling hook, fixing a broken lock – if it takes tools, I’m your buddy.

Audio Kitty

Audio Kitty: Need help with setting up your home entertainment system? I'm your kit.

Techno Kitty: Of all the jobs that I’m considering, working on computers draws me the most. Who else sacrifices half his whiskers to learning about cooling fans? Who else is adept at adjusting template settings in Word, realigning power cords, and hiding that plastic device laughingly called a “mouse?” International Institute of Kitnology, here I come!

Oh, by the way, I discussed potential jobs with my brother. He told me the following:

Franklin’s Career Aspirations: Male Model.

Frankie Strikes a Pose


At June 8, 2009 at 7:29 AM , Blogger Linda said...

Sounds like Winston's been checking out all of his possibilities- nice to have several options.

My cat faced forced retirement, since technology no longer favors the flat TV tops needed for her favorite pastime. It took practice and timing to lie on the top and dangle a tail just at the most exciting moments on screen. Not to mention throwing in a full out grooming session, complete with sound effects. Good times.

And Franklin looks well on his way to America's Next Top Feline.

At June 9, 2009 at 7:06 PM , Blogger Gaile Gray said...

Ah, Linda, your comments always make me smile. :)

Grooming sessions don't just interfere with television in my household -- they also take place at the most embarrassing possible moments. If I ever get a visit from an esteemed politician (is that an oxymoron? ;) ), a favourite elderly relative, or the Archbishop of Canterbury, you can be sure that _both_ boys will decide to do a thorough clean up, and will prove to be particularly dedicated to their nether reaches. :D

(And Franklin appreciates your vote of confidence. He's working hard on his pout and his runway strut.)

At June 14, 2009 at 8:32 PM , Blogger Marc Jensen said...

One advantage of having indoor cats is they on dabble in the profession that my Sam has truly mastered...

Hunter Gatherer: Scour the territory and neighbouring territories for anything that moves, grab it and bring it back to the house. To avoid theft by parties unknown, stow the kill behind lounge furniture where it will be guaranteed to go unnoticed for several days. Or if it's big enough simply eat it on the carpet.

There is also...

Professional Food Critic: Dine in, dine out, takeaway, raid and kitchen smorgasbord meals are great on-the-job training for up and coming feline taste testers.

At June 14, 2009 at 10:50 PM , Blogger Gaile Gray said...

Methinks you're right, Marc. They don't have the horizons of a true Hunter Gatherer, in that they're indoors only, but they have managed to hunt/gather the odd bit of pillow stuffing or the clump of shipping styrofoam. Oh so sweet of them to share with me, too! :)

The Food Critic position is right up their alley. So far we've discovered an appreciation for Italian and Mexican food; we'll try Indian someday soon. And of course they love any kind of cheese, particularly an excellent cheese England called "Coastal." (Devon, I think.) I am badgered mercilessly to share that one, even if I try to hide it from them.


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home